Published by: Greenwillow Books
Genre: Mental Illness, Contemporary, Young Adult
Source: Bought, Hardcover
“There is a small monster in my brain that controls my doubt.
The doubt itself is a stupid thing, without sense or feeling, blind and straining at the end of a long chain. The monster though, is smart. It’s always watching, and when I am completely sure of myself, it unchains the doubt and lets it run wild. even when I know it’s coming, I can’t stop it.”
I’m having a hard time trying to figure out how I feel about this book. I really enjoyed, but I didn’t love it like most people I know. I thought it was a well done story. It was nice seeing anxiety portrayed in the book but not being the sole focus of the story if that makes sense. I like that Eliza had anxiety but the story wasn’t about that. The story was about her and her webcomic and beginning new friendships. I loved that.
I could really relate to Eliza and her anxiety. There was a point when she felt like she was suffocating when being surrounded by a group of people. I felt that. I’m that way. I hate being surrounded by lots of people. All I can think about is wanting to escape. At first I thought Eliza was just this obnoxious, angry teenage girl, but the more I think about it, I wonder if a part of her anger is because she’s stressed out and anxious. I know I can get annoyed really easily when I’m anxious.
I love how the parents were portrayed in the story. They don’t understand Eliza and her internet friends. They don’t understand why she spends so much time on the internet. I think a lot of people can relate to that because the majority of our parents didn’t grow up with smart phones or the internet. Eliza describe her internet friends in the perfect way and I was like “YAS GIRL, YASS! I FEEL YOU!”. I’ve meet some of the best friends through the internet and booktube.
I loved how accurately the parents were displayed in the story. It made me thankful to have parents that told me to follow my dream and pursue anything that makes me happy. It didn’t matter if I made a ton of money or not, just as long as I was doing what I enjoyed. I know a lot of kids don’t have that. Parents expect them to get a good paying job by being a doctor or engineer.
It was also an interesting topic covered in the story about being a creator with fans and the relationship between the two. It’s amazing how you can start something for yourself, something you enjoy and have it become popular and the more people that like it, the more people that want you…. no, expect you to start creating it for them. It’s like all of a sudden you’re not creating something for yourself to enjoy, you’re creating it for other people.
I think the biggest problem I had with this book is that it took me a little bit to get into the story. I had a hard time connecting with the characters because they’re quiet and reserved. I did end up enjoying them in the end though after I got to them. I also loved the writing and storyline. I thought it was a unique concept to write about. I highly recommend it!